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<FONT face=Tahoma size=2>5 TOP SMART ASS ANSWERS - 2005<BR>><BR>><BR>><BR>>Smart Ass Answer #5:<BR>>A flight attendant was stationed at the<BR>> departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she <BR>>extended her<BR>>hand<BR>> for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. <BR>>Without<BR>> missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not <BR>>your<BR>>stub."<BR>><BR>> Smart Ass Answer #4:<BR>>A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the<BR>> grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her<BR>> family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any <BR>>bigger?" The<BR>> stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."<BR>><BR>> Smart Ass Answer #3:<BR>>The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped<BR>> for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for<BR>> you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got <BR>>here as<BR>> fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he <BR>>sent the kid<BR>>on<BR>> his way without a ticket.<BR>><BR>> Smart Ass Answer #2:<BR>> A truck driver was driving along on the<BR>> freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before <BR>>he<BR>> knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck <BR>>under the<BR>> bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car <BR>>comes up. The<BR>>cop<BR>> gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his <BR>>hands on his<BR>> hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I <BR>>was<BR>> delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."<BR>><BR>> AND NOW........FOR THE #1 SMART ASS ANSWER SO FAR FOR THE YEAR <BR>>2005 .<BR>>.<BR>><BR>> A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final<BR>> exam.<BR>><BR>> "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for your not being<BR>> here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious <BR>>personal<BR>> injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but <BR>>that's it, no<BR>>other<BR>> excuses whatsoever!"<BR>><BR>> A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and<BR>> asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering <BR>>from<BR>> complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is <BR>>reduced to<BR>>laughter and snickering.<BR>><BR>> When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at<BR>> the student, shakes her head and sweetly says : "Well, I guess <BR>>you'd<BR>> have to write the exam with your other hand."<BR>></FONT><BR> |
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