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Ventured · 发表于 11-10-2005 03:30:45|来自：新加坡

<DIV class=quote>以下是引用小人小雨在2005-10-10 22:55:42的发言：

谁都知道我只是讲在这边的事实，你待过多久，你没在这边待过一年半载怎么知道这里是如何看中国女生？去巴刹吃饭，都听到别人讲中国女生结婚几年不到就离婚的事，都说是。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。你先去自己体验一下吧。我都听了5，6年了。嫁新加坡人没什么大不了得，反正坡人的离婚高的很。。。。。。。</DIV>

尽管离婚率高，不过说实话，在新加坡离婚也不是一件很轻松的事情。
 
DIVORCE IN <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">SINGAPORE</st1:place></st1:country-region>'S CONTEXT
THE 10 MOST COMMON BELIEFS/FALLACIES
 
With <st1:country-region w:st="on">Singapore</st1:country-region> becoming more and more cosmopolitan each day and with more Singaporeans going overseas for studies or work, potential clients seeking to initiate divorce proceedings in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Singapore</st1:place></st1:country-region> are influenced by the requirements to commence divorce proceedings in the various jurisdictions around the world.
 
In <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Singapore</st1:place></st1:country-region>, the requirements are set out in the Women's Charter, Chapter 353 (hereinafter referred to as "the Act") and this article aims to dispel the 10 most common beliefs/fallacies with reference to the relevant provisions of the Act.
 
As the purpose of this article is to highlight the common beliefs/fallacies in relation to divorce proceedings to laypersons, there would not be any reference to case laws or judgments of any courts but broad statements of law with reference to the Act.
 
 
Belief No. 1 - So long as parties agree, they can obtain a divorce
 
This is the most common fallacy and presumably it is due to the fact that adults are not required to seek the consent of any third parties before they are married. Hence, it is assumed that so long as both adults consent to be divorced, why should their decision be dependant on third parties' opinions or consent?
 
In Singapore, in order for parties to obtain a divorce, they must present a Petition for Divorce as set out in sections 92 and 93 of the Act which provide that the Judge of the High Court of the Republic of Singapore has the jurisdiction to hear such divorce petitions. It is not the common intention or decision of two adults which determine whether they are divorced or not. Whether parties are able to obtain a divorce depends on the decision of the High Court Judge after hearing the divorce petition. 
Section 93(1) of the Act provides that only if either of the parties to the marriage is:- 
(a) domiciled in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Singapore</st1:place></st1:country-region> at the commencement of the proceedings; or 
(b) habitually resident in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Singapore</st1:place></st1:country-region> for a period of 3 years immediately preceding the commencement of the proceedings,
only then the parties to a marriage are entitled to present such a petition in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Singapore</st1:place></st1:country-region>.
 
As such, all citizens of <st1:country-region w:st="on">Singapore</st1:country-region> and foreigners holding employment/work permit passes, student pass and who are habitually resident in <st1:country-region w:st="on">Singapore</st1:country-region> would be able to present their petition for divorce in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Singapore</st1:place></st1:country-region> pursuant to the Act.
 
However, foreigners residing in <st1:country-region w:st="on">Singapore</st1:country-region> have the option of commencing their divorce petitions overseas in order to avoid the strict requirements of the <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Singapore</st1:place></st1:country-region> law. Whilst this may be "easier" it could also give rise to loose ends, eg. the division/disposition of the matrimonial property especially if it is a Housing and Development Board flat or where the matrimonial property includes sums in the Central Provident Fund. Similarly, the issue of custody and maintenance of children as well as maintenance of the spouse may not be resolved. 
 
NOTE : certain jurisdictions permit divorce via postcards or submission of a notice to the registry concerned. As such, parties may not have considered the issues abovementioned.
 
 
Belief No. 2 - Parties can obtain a divorce any time after marriage
Generally, parties are not permitted to commence divorce proceedings in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Singapore</st1:place></st1:country-region> until after three years of their registration of marriage as section 94(1) of the Act states that “No petition for divorce shall be presented to the court unless at the date of the presentation of the petition 3 years have passed since the date of the marriage.”
 
This is because the institution of marriage is a sacred one and parties should treat it with respect once they have committed themselves to each other in marriage.
 
However, pursuant to section 94(2) of the Act, in very exceptional circumstances, that is, exceptional hardship is suffered by the petitioner or exceptional depravity is suffered on the part of the respondent can be proven, the petitioner may be able to present the divorce petition within three years of marriage AFTER having obtained leave from the High Court for the same in which event, the Court shall also take into account the interests of any child of the marriage before leave is granted.
 
 
Belief No. 3 - In cases of adultery, the victim is entitled to seek compensation from the third party
There is no such provision in the Women’s Charter.
 
 
Belief No. 4 - The party at fault must give up all his/her rights to the matrimonial assets
Again this is a fallacy presumably due to the misconception that the aggrieved party is entitled to compensation.
 
Under section 112 of the Act, the division of the matrimonial assets is dependant on certain factors, for example :
1. the extent of the contributions made by each party in terms of money, property or work towards acquiring, improving or maintaining the matrimonial assets;
2. any debt owing or obligation incurred or undertaken by either party for their joint benefit or for the benefit of any child of the marriage;
3. the needs of the children (if any) of the marriage;
4. the extent of the contributions made by each party to the welfare of the family, including looking after the home or caring for the family or any aged or infirm relative or dependant of either party;
5. any agreement between the parties with respect to the ownership and division of the matrimonial assets made in contemplation of divorce;
6. any period of rent-free occupation or other benefit enjoyed by one party in the matrimonial home to the exclusion of the other party;
7. the giving of assistance or support by one party to the other party (whether or not of a material kind), including the giving of assistance or support which aids the other party in the carrying on of his or her occupation or business;
 
In addition, the Court may also consider the following additional factors, as set out in section 114(1) of the Act, in so far as they are relevant:-
1. the income, earning capacity, property and other financial resources which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future;
2. the financial needs, obligations and responsibilities which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future;
3. the standard of living enjoyed by the family before the breakdown of the marriage;
4. the age of each party to the marriage and the duration of the marriage;
5. any physical or mental disability of either of the parties to the marriage;
6. the contributions made by each of the parties to the welfare of the family, including any contribution made by looking after the home or caring for the family; and
7. in the case of proceedings for divorce or nullity of marriage, the value to either of the parties to the marriage of any benefit (for example, a pension) which, by reason of the dissolution or annulment of the marriage that party will lose the chance of acquiring.
 
If at all the party at fault is "punished" he/she is made to bear the cost of the divorce proceedings up to the pronouncement of the Decree Nisi stage. The cost may be agreed between parties or fixed by the Judge presiding over the case. The sum fixed may be different from that charged by the lawyers.
 
 
Belief No. 5 - A Wife is entitled to 50% of the Husband's assets upon divorce
This is not true as the division of the matrimonial property, as stated above, is dependant on the specified factors set out in section 112 of the Act.
 
 
Belief No. 6 – If there are two children, each party will have custody of one child
This is not true as the issue of care, custody and control of any child or children of the marriage is determined by sections 123 and 125 of the Act.
 
Where a child is concerned, that child’s interest is paramount in the eyes of the Court. Generally, the Court is reluctant to separate siblings and prefer to grant custody care and control of all children to the marriage to one party to ensure that the siblings remain close to each other.
 
As a matter of interest, the fact that a parent is having a substantial salary is no guarantee that he/she will have custody of the child. Other factors like who will be taking care of the child etc. will play a part.
 
 
Belief No. 7 – If one parent has custody of the child/children, he/she can restrict the access by the other parent
This is not true for it is of paramount interest for the child/children to maintain his/her relationship with BOTH parents as far as possible. That the parents are divorced does not mean that the child/children must suffer.
 
Attempts have been made to restrict or refuse access to a parent who is/was a drug addict, prostitute etc. That the parent’s past or occupation is morally reprehensible does not mean that they are not capable of being a good parent and as such would not mean that they cannot have access, and sometimes custody, of the child or children.
 
So long as the parent is the natural parent of the child, access must be given unless there are compelling reasons to order otherwise, for instance, it can be shown that the parent is a bad influence on the child, for example, encouraging the child to steal or to take drugs.
 
 
Belief No 8 – Parent with custody of the child can decide everything
Just because custody, care and control of a child is given to one parent, that parent have no right to decide everything for that child as the other party is similarly a parent. Most importantly, the child’s surname cannot be changed solely by the parent having custody, care and control.
 
 
Belief No. 9 – The father must maintain the child
It is true that as a parent of the child, the father must find means to support the child financially. This is so, even if the father is currently unemployed. However, the duty to support the child is not restricted to the Father only. The mother, who in most cases would have custody, must also support the child. That she was and had been a housewife does not mean that she is incapable of working and earning money to support herself and the child.
 
Whilst the Court will try to achieve equality in the financial support to be provided by both parents, the Court will give regard to the financial means and needs of the parties.
 
 
Belief No. 10 – A Wife is entitled to maintenance from the Husband in any event
This used to be true but not anymore as these days, more and more women also work and their salary are sometimes more than their husband's. The issue of maintenance is governed by section 114 of the Act which states that :
 
114(1) In determining the amount of any maintenance to be paid by a man to his wife or former wife, the court shall have regard to all the circumstances of the case including the following matters:-
(a) the income, earning capacity, property and other financial resources which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future; 
(b) the financial needs, obligations and responsibilities which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future; 
(c) the standard of living enjoyed by the family before the breakdown of the marriage; 
(d) the age of each party to the marriage and the duration of the marriage; 
(e) any physical or mental disability of either of the parties to the marriage; 
(f) the contributions made by each of the parties to the welfare of the family, including any contribution made by looking after the home or caring for the family; and 
(g) in the case of proceedings for divorce or nullity of marriage, the value to either of the parties to the marriage of any benefit (for example, a pension) which, by reason of the dissolution or annulment of the marriage that party will lose the chance of acquiring.
 
114(2) In exercising its powers under this section, the court shall endeavour so to place the parties, so far as it is practicable and, having regard to their conduct, just to do so, in the financial position in which they would have been if the marriage had not broken down and each had properly discharged his or her financial obligations and responsibilities towards the other. 
 
As such, if the wife is working or capable of working but the husband is unemployed or incapable of working due to disability, it is very unlikely that the wife will succeed in getting any maintenance.
 
Under the new provisions of the Act, husbands are entitled to ask for maintenance but such applications are still rare in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Singapore</st1:place></st1:country-region>.
 
 
Ho Meng Third
M/s CW Lee.Peng.Chia.Philip
 
 
 
 
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 border=1>

<TR >
<TD vAlign=top width=613>
DISCLAIMER:-
THIS ARTICLE IS NOT MEANT TO DISPENSE LEGAL ADVICE. YOU ARE ADVISED TO SEEK INDEPENDENT LEGAL ADVICE ON ANY PROBLEMS OR QUESTIONS WHICH YOU MAY HAVE. THE AUTHOR IS NOT TO BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY OF YOUR ACTS OR OMISSIONS IN RELIANCE ON ANY PART OF THIS ARTICLE.</TD></TR></TABLE>
 
<a href="http://www.lawsociety.org.sg/upload/CLE/{9BEA36CD-C647-461E-80C4-9717548A4E7C}_Divorce%20in%20Singapore.doc" target="_blank" >http://www.lawsociety.org.sg/upload/CLE/{9BEA36CD-C647-461E-80C4-9717548A4E7C}_Divorce%20in%20Singapore.doc</A>

equation · 发表于 11-10-2005 02:03:33|来自：新加坡

<DIV class=quote>以下是引用小人小雨在2005-10-10 22:57:08的发言：

我只是讲事实而已。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。</DIV>
不要跟她讲了，浪费。其实你看她芽龙啦，法律啦，连你们读书的合约她都比你清楚，她的目的你还不清楚吗，还用跟她多讲吗？所谓人各有志，我们也不必强求。

equation · 发表于 11-10-2005 01:51:43|来自：新加坡

<DIV class=quote>以下是引用angela1019在2005-10-9 22:47:29的发言：

EQUATION，你是不是脑袋有问题呀，我就算专门找嫁给公民的同乡请教一点问题有什么不对吗？犯到你哪根神经呀。你要不爽去芽笼啦，只要你有钱，可以尽情发泄。不要在这个论坛里发疯好吗？我真的怀疑你的中文程度？看不明白我的帖吗？

真要命</DIV>

很抱歉，我很少去那种地方！不知你为何那么有兴趣？！
至于我的中文，没学好有什么办法呢？不过至少我会正确的使用标点，不会像你把该用句号的地方用问号。
我中文再不好，我也不会把发过的帖子改来改去。帖子就像人说话，说出去的话，泼出去的水。我不像某人不知出于何种目的把自己发的帖子改来改去，然后还怪别人看不懂中文，就好像我们这些人出了国就会忘了根，连个中文都不懂！

散乱的阳光 · 发表于 11-10-2005 11:44:17|来自：新加坡

<DIV class=quote>以下是引用angela1019在2005-10-10 16:46:52的发言：

你放心，第一个通知你。还有呀，我的WEDDING肯定最少108桌，要不我发个邀请函请你见证一下我过的好不好，幸不幸福？</DIV>
原来这句话, 透出了点信息. 108桌的情况在中国比较少, 除非是那些爱炫耀的暴发户.

1. 楼主曾在新加坡的酒店打过工? 我记得楼主的英文也不错的,普通英文也就算了, 也知道ROM这个简写. 难怪对新加坡了解到不是一个游客所能触及到的.

2. 还有种可能(不过可能性不大), 就是楼主在新参加过新加破人的婚礼. 而且参加过的一定是有钱人孩子的婚礼. 我老板身价几个亿新,他孩子也只不过100桌.

不知我猜测对吗? 当然, 可能是自作聪明了.

其实, 楼主该去"同乡论谈" 那里找陕西的.

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-10-11 11:44:59编辑过]

散乱的阳光 · 发表于 11-10-2005 11:34:36|来自：新加坡

<DIV class=quote>以下是引用在水一方sg在2005-10-11 1:02:43的发言：
看到楼主的投诉了。
简单的看了一下，其实吵架主要还是因为不同的观点造成的。
楼主本身并没有在新常时间的生活，对本地生活缺乏深入的了解，但是每个人都会对未来有着美好的憧憬是可以理解的。还是那句话，彩票那么难中不也有中的吗？很多中国的女孩子嫁来这边发现婚姻出现问题并不代表所有人，过的好的谁还上网发牢骚呢？
另外一位大侠可能也是因为在这里的一些经历或者所闻所感产生的想法，可能表达方式上比较急了一点但是本意是好的！
所以我也不希望两位继续吵下去，吵架本身没什么意义。所以我希望两位都退一步，找朋友的找朋友，逛论坛的逛论坛。为了营造共同的网上净土而努力。
谢谢</DIV>
又是中彩票~ 请问版主你经常买多多,4D吗? 反正藕是从来没买过.

楼主,开这个题目, 能看出她美丽的憧憬,未来的勾画~ 其实可以理解的,待嫁的女人,都是沐浴在幸福中的. 不过,觉得奇怪, 楼主人不在此地,但是好象对新胜为了解, 了解到不是一个曾经旅游过的人可以触及到的层面, 芽笼就算了,可是连Government Bonding 都了如指掌.

雨人小姐, 讲了个普遍存在的现象. 但是还是有幸福的案例. 其实还是应该真心祝福楼主跟他先生是特殊的一对, 希望他们幸福, 因为你并不了解他先生为人. 不必要这样给别人当头一棍, 激怒别人.

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-10-11 11:36:03编辑过]

angela1019 · 发表于 11-10-2005 11:59:24|来自：新加坡

<DIV class=quote>以下是引用散乱的阳光在2005-10-11 11:44:17的发言：

原来这句话, 透出了点信息. 108桌的情况在中国比较少, 除非是那些爱炫耀的暴发户.

哦，没有啦。我们是正经的生意人，不是暴发户了。

1. 楼主曾在新加坡的酒店打过工? 我记得楼主的英文也不错的,普通英文也就算了, 也知道ROM这个简写. 难怪对新加坡了解到不是一个游客所能触及到的.
我是在中国的国际连锁酒店做部门经理，没去过新加坡工作。英文马马虎虎了。还需努力学习。


2. 还有种可能(不过可能性不大), 就是楼主在新参加过新加破人的婚礼. 而且参加过的一定是有钱人孩子的婚礼. 我老板身价几个亿新,他孩子也只不过100桌.
我只参加过我男朋友小叔的婚礼，103桌。我男朋友是家族里的长孙，没办法，潮洲人家族太大了，人数已经达到108桌了。逃都逃不掉


不知我猜测对吗? 当然, 可能是自作聪明了
没关系，最少你的态度我能接受。


其实, 楼主该去"同乡论谈" 那里找陕西的. 
那个时候刚来这个华人网，新人吗，不知道还有个“三秦大地”。反正在哪儿都一样了，都能碰到好的和不好的人。谢谢

</DIV>

angela1019 · 发表于 11-10-2005 16:50:18|来自：新加坡

<DIV class=quote>以下是引用sileas在2005-10-11 16:26:27的发言：

中国人在新加坡发展的数不甚数同样都是华人有共同祖先和语言相识相恋本来是自然的事情. 何况跨国恋爱现在并不是鲜有听闻的事. 人家选择将来要走的路都是自己的决定作为旁人我们寄予祝福就可以了或者至多给予一些忠告但如果言辞影响幸福中人们的情绪和生活就不是让人开心的一件事了. 
不谈孰是孰非假如给别人生活带来不快和阴影是你的乐趣那和LZ站一边的人大致可以漠视之. </DIV>

[em07] 同意，顶一下。

sileas · 发表于 11-10-2005 16:26:27|来自：新加坡

中国人在新加坡发展的数不甚数同样都是华人有共同祖先和语言相识相恋本来是自然的事情. 何况跨国恋爱现在并不是鲜有听闻的事. 人家选择将来要走的路都是自己的决定作为旁人我们寄予祝福就可以了或者至多给予一些忠告但如果言辞影响幸福中人们的情绪和生活就不是让人开心的一件事了. 不谈孰是孰非假如给别人生活带来不快和阴影是你的乐趣那和LZ站一边的人大致可以漠视之.

lili鱼 · 发表于 11-10-2005 14:58:58|来自：新加坡

刚看到楼主的帖子，觉得小雨小姐说得有些过了，新加坡的确存在歧视某些中国来的女人，但是并不能因为此而打击要嫁来的女性同胞，爱情自由但是看楼主，既然帖子发出来，你就应该知道会众说纷纭，你的刻意炫耀也实在是没必要，而且你既然是认识西安的朋友，大家都认识中文，只看你一人在那里两种语言倒来倒去，即使嫁来新加坡，我们的母语仍然是汉语。总之，前途艰辛漫漫，并不会想你想象的那么轻松，嫁给坡人比嫁给中国人更难拿PR，你可以不在意网路上的别人的诚意相告，但以楼主张扬的性格，想融入一个传统的潮州人家族，并非易事

在水一方sg · 发表于 11-10-2005 14:51:46|来自：新加坡

<DIV class=quote>以下是引用小人小雨在2005-10-11 14:35:44的发言：

偏激，我倒不觉得，如果你看到身边的女生有的是为了拿pr那种结婚不到3年，就离婚的中国女生，说确切点讲就是骗婚，你会如何？( 把名声都弄坏了，害的别人都是以为你是为了一个国籍) 如果你看到你另一个刚认识的人才跟坡人结婚，男的家庭的人老是欺负她，你又如何？当你看到那些嫁过来，生了个小孩，才3岁大，老公就跟她离婚，因为老公要去亚龙嫖，她什么也不懂英文也不好，要自己一个人找工作，带孩子，她向你哭诉的时候，你又会如何？你心疼不疼，我心疼，她自己也后悔，可是有后悔药吗？想回国，那边的父母就觉得国外好，哪里知道他的苦。当你去她家里，听到她婆婆就是当着自己同胞的面骂她，骂你·%—%474#3*&*5你又会如何呢？嫁过来，有好有坏，但是这个比例是多少也只有他们知道。婚姻还是慎重选者的好。</DIV>
其实呢，这个道理谁都懂，但是被爱情的甜蜜所包围的楼主对未来美好的憧憬是可以理解的吧？我想在你快要结婚的时候有人说那些话你也不会痛快吧？我希望你们能平心静气的谈一谈，把本地婚姻生活的阴暗面换一个方式来表达，楼主可能会更好的接受吧！

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