I think I amreally crazy.

xingyi2610

My son has a habit using his hand to push people. Scolded by us endlessly.  he is not a bad boy, sth upset him before that. And then it provoke it. I feel sad. Me and my husband have been always taught him to be polite to say " excuse me". Today he push people again in the play ground I think. (Because I did not witness it. )The parent came up to me and told me. I know I should say sorry to her . But in stead I told her off. I just don want to scold my son in front of others. What 's more, she said sth very hurt me. She told another parent that my son also like to push people. I just feel angry abt her comment of my son. Am I did the wrong thing. Am I being too stressful that I became crazy??? SOS ....

毛絮

I think you are fine, but your English is a bit crazy.

xingyi2610

Sorry for the broken English as I can only type English from hp

xingyi2610

I mean my son really has a terrible character . Anybody can teach me how to help him?? Thanks!

男人如树

1. 我孩子十多岁了, 身上一堆的坏毛病. 比如脾气暴躁, 没有时间观念.......等等等等
有一天我突然发现, 他身上这些毛病, 不是在我身上能找到, 就是从他妈妈身上能找到.

2. 你说"I just don want to scold my son in front of others", 中国有句古话, "当面教子,背后教妻",
古人的经验现在不完全适用,但既然流传了千年,必然有它的精辟之处.
你把邻居送走关上门跟孩子再苦口婆心,远不如当着外人给他的教育对他的触动大.
为什么现在有些家长管不了孩子,而学校老师能管,就是因为老师批评他的时候多数是在课堂上,当着同学们的面,不会考虑什么伤自尊的问题.

cox5200

不知你的孩子几岁了?
孩子的暴力问题来源有很多，需要父母自己仔细观察出来，才能对症下药。例如，父母本身也有暴力问题、孩子想引起父母对自己的注意力、甜食和速食等饮食不当...
邻居上门了，并不是想看你当面处罚孩子，而是想看你对这件事的看法和作为。如果你只是把人打发走、对孩子也无措，那这样的情况就会一再发生，你的儿子会被社区当成麻烦人物。
如果是我，在儿子推人的那时间如果我在场，我会带着儿子亲自去向孩子的父母道歉、并要求儿子道歉，但不会对儿子做出任何体罚动作，而是当着对方父母的面告知儿子"感同身受"的道理。如果邻居找上门来的做法也是一样。
如果他还是屡犯不听，就拒绝让他再去游乐场玩、或是让他当场罚站、或是卡通时间要取消。
不要轻忽孩子的暴力行为，在你还有能力教育他们时得教育，小心将来这暴力可能用到你两老身上。

cox5200

即使孩子还小，还是得让他们清楚明白，任何人都得为自己的行为负责，没有任何借口可以替自己开脱，父母也不要替他们找借口。
我家孩子上小学后规定: 吃完饭，自己得把碗盘收到水槽；把水打翻了，自己拿布来擦；书包、制服要自己睡前准备好；弄丢了文具再要买新的，得用自己的零用钱，或是做家事来补偿；假日得找个时间拿着抹布自己打扫房间；对不起人，得自己亲自去道歉.....
千万不可以宠孩子，将来长大谁宠他?

tianyizhy

我赞成你不在外人面前骂孩子。这绝对是我教育孩子的一个很重要的原则。

孩子的规矩，从小养成；在家里，一定要严格管教；但在外人面前，有错，应该让孩子跟对方说抱歉；如果实在孩子也有隐情，不愿意说，那家长代说；若家长亲眼看见自己孩子做错，而孩子不道歉，还是家长道歉，但回家要好好教训孩子，同时反省为什么孩子这么不懂做人的基本道理。若上述情况您都做到，对方家长依然出言不逊，那就对不起，留电话身份证随她愿意，让她带孩子去医院检查，有事你赔；再不甘愿，建议对方找警察。

不在外人面前训斥孩子，是为了孩子的自尊心，在我眼里，自尊心的培养是必须的，比补习，比读书，不知道重要多少倍，因为我希望我的孩子永远能够用平视的眼光看世界，不畏强势，当然也不能欺负弱小，用自己的行动告诉孩子，尊重任何人都是必须的，哪怕他还只是个弱小的孩子。

xingyi2610

男人如树 发表于 11-4-2013 09:02
1. 我孩子十多岁了, 身上一堆的坏毛病. 比如脾气暴躁, 没有时间观念.......等等等等
有一天我突然发现, 他 ...

Thank you! After I read all the comments and reflect on myself. I realized I did not do the rift thing. Maybe my son really push people. Yes, all these character are inherited from us, I have to admit. This column really help me a lot. I appreciated. Though he is 4, but I can see the seriousness of his act. I will try all the means to help him. I want him to change. It is time for him and for me to change

xingyi2610

cox5200 发表于 11-4-2013 09:25
不知你的孩子几岁了?
孩子的暴力问题来源有很多，需要父母自己仔细观察出来，才能对症下药。例如，父母本 ...

You are right. I will change. I realized the seriousness of the outcome . I would want him to change. Thanks alot. I think we as parents need to teach him properly.