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<FONT color=#800080>CUSTOMER:
I can do that.
I'm not very technical,
but I think I am ready to install now.
What do I do first?
CS REP:
The first step is to open your HEART.
Have you located your HEART, ma'am?
CUSTOMER:
Yes, I have,
but there are several programs running right now.
Is it okay to install while they are running?
CS REP:
What programs are running, ma'am?
CUSTOMER:
Let me see......
I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE,
GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM
running right now.
CS REP:
No problem.
LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE
from your current operating system.
It may remain in your permanent memory,
but it will no longer disrupt other programs.
LOVE will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE
with a module of its' own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE.
However, you have to completely turn off
GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM.
Those programs prevent LOVE from
being properly installed.
Can you turn those off, ma'am?
CUSTOMER:
I don't know how to turn them off.
Can you tell me how?
CS REP:
My pleasure. Go to your start menu and
invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE.
Do this as many times as necessary until
GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM
have been completely erased.
CUSTOMER:
Okay, I'm done.
LOVE has started installing itself automatically.
Is that normal?
CS REP:
Yes, it is.
You should receive a message that says
it will reinstall for the life of your HEART.
Do you see that message?
CUSTOMER:
Yes, I do. Is it completely installed?
CS REP:
Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.
You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS
in order to get the upgrades.
CUSTOMER:
Oops ... I have an error message already!
CS REP:
What does the message say?
CUSTOMER:
It says,
"ERROR 412 -- PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS."
What does that mean?
CS REP:
Don't worry ma'am,
that's a common problem.
It means that the LOVE program is set up
to run on external HEARTS
but has not yet been run on your HEART.
It is one of those complicated programming things,
but in nontechnical terms it means
you have to "LOVE" your own machine
before it can "LOVE" others.
CUSTOMER:
So what should I do?
CS REP:
Can you find the directory called
"SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?
CUSTOMER:
Yes, I have it.
CS REP:
Excellent, you are getting good at this!
CUSTOMER:
Thank you.</FONT> |
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