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Dear Mummy,
I am feeling very sad.
Today in school, Zhong Guoren - my classmate from China - beat me again,
in a maths test. That boy is an unstoppable genius machine.
Last week, he beat me in sports too.
If he were not here, I would have come in first and gotten a gold. But
because the Government says we must welcome foreign talents to increase
our population and to improve our economy, I got a bronze instead. This
sucks.
At first, we laughed at them, because their English was not very good.
Their maths and science were good, and their Chinese was excellent (but
who cares about Chinese language, right?). But then, their English got
better and now, they are kicking our backsides in this subject too.
I think we should get the Government to do something about this.
Why didn't you have more babies, Mummy? I wouldn't mind having a brother
or a sister to play with. I am an only child, and because you and Daddy
are not making enough babies, we have to get people from other countries,
people who make it hard for me to be number one in my class.
I think you are very selfish to just have me, Mummy.
I don't like to lose, Mummy. I am used to being first in my class. And my
school was very small too, like Singapore, so it was easy to be first. Now
my school is bigger, and I have to fight harder to be first.
Why can't we just compete with ourselves, among Singaporeans only (okay,
and maybe Permanent Residents)?
Why can't they have a new category for all the tests and CCAs?
We could have a Best Local Maths Student category and a Best Local
Sportsman category, then at least, if I don't win Best Maths Student, I
can be Best Local Maths Student and feel better about myself.
Just like my school is ranked one of the Top 20 Value-added Secondary
Schools with a Special Assessment Award for Knitting CCA, I also want to
be a top student.
Maybe we need to have a new category like "Top 20 Value-added Secondary
Schools (Got China Students)".
This is because our school has smart foreign students and should be ranked
separately so that schools without smart foreign students won't feel so
jealous. And, maybe, we should drop Literature as a subject too. I hate
Literature, hard to score "A"s.
In fact, we should have streams like EM1 (Local) and EM1 (China and
Others). Let the smart China students have their own stream.
I want to go to university when I grow up, especially the National
University of Singapore (NUS), because our newspapers say that NUS is even
better than Princeton and Cornell in the United States.
But I hear there are many brilliant China students in NUS, too.
I don't want to be having private tuition until I am 25 years old, just to
keep up with my foreign classmates in the Uni. Or else, I will have no
time to meet girls and then I will be forced to go to Vietnam and Kelantan
to find a wife when I want to start a family.
In fact, I am very upset with foreigners competing with us even in this
area.
All the girls I know say that when they finish studying and go to work,
they want to marry ang mohs, because Singapore men are unromantic and do
not want to know how to make a girl happy. So, the ang mohs are even
stealing our women.
I prefer to marry a Singapore girl, of course, but only if she knows how
to cook and wash, and peel my prawns for me (like you, Mummy). But
nowadays, Singapore girls are so fierce, just because they study, and earn
their own money.
Maybe that is why in Chinatown, I saw this big Singapore Rooster, and it
was sitting on eggs. I think the Singapore Hen left him to look after the
eggs, because she had to work and do all the things an educated Hen does.
I also worry I cannot find a job when I am older. My friend, Ah Hock,
tells me his mother feels all these Chinese foreigners are stealing our
jobs and our men (and the ang mohs are stealing our women).
That is very scary, Mummy. You told me many China women are in Singapore
only to do naughty things, like relieve old men of their Central Provident
Fund money.
Once an uncle wrote in the papers that we should catch those foreign women
who are tall, have long hair and legs, and wear tight, revealing outfits
in black or red and behave coquettishly.
I think we should only accept foreign women who are short, have short hair
and legs, and wear loose, covered-up outfits in white or blue, and behave
like a man.
Okay, Mummy, I have to go to my Chinese, maths and science tuition classes
now. If I don't go, I won't be able to beat Guoren.
Your son,
x x x |
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