Anger Management

ontherun · 发表于 20-10-2006 17:18:00|来自：新加坡

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to > take >>>it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out > on >>>someone you don't know. >>> >>>  I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd > forgotten to >>>make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying > "Hello." >>> >>>  I politely said, "Could I please speak with Robyn?" >>> >>>  Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f**ing >>>number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. >>> >>>  I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down > >>>Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally >>>transposed the last two digits. >>> >>>  After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number > again. >>> >>>  When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" > and >>>hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, > and >>>put it in my desk drawer. >>> >>>  Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad > day, >>>I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" >>> >>>  It always cheered me up. >>> >>>  When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic "asshole >>>calling" would have to stop. >>> >>>  So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the >>>Verizon. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID >>>Program?" >>> >>>  He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. >>> >>>  I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an > asshole!" >>> >>>  One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking > spot. >>>Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had >>>patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting >>>for that > spot, >>>but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back > window >>>which included his phone number, so I wrote down the number. >>> >>>  A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had > his >>>number on speed dial) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, > too. >>>I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" >>> >>>  "Yes, it is", he said. >>> >>>  "Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked. >>> >>>  "Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, in Vaucluse. It's a yellow house, > and >>>the car's parked right out in front." >>> >>>  "What's your name?" I asked. >>> >>>  "My name is Don Hansen," he said. >>> >>>  "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" >>> >>>  "I'm home every evening after five." >>> >>>  "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" >>> >>>  "Yes?" >>> >>>  "Don, you're an asshole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my > >>>speed dial, too. >>> >>>  Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came > up >>>with an idea. I called Asshole .1. >>> >>>  "Hello." >>> >>>  "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.) >>> >>>  "Are you still there?" he asked. >>> >>>  "Yeah," I said. >>> >>>  "Stop calling me," he screamed. >>> >>>  "Make me," I said. >>> >>>  "Who are you?" he asked. >>> >>>  "My name is Don Hansen." >>> >>>  "Yeah? Where do you live?" >>> >>>  "Asshole, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, a yellow house, with > my >>>black Beamer parked in front." >>> >>>  He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start >>>saying your prayers." >>> >>>  I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up. >>> >>>  Then I called Asshole ..2. "Hello?" he said. >>> >>>  "Hello, asshole," I said. >>> >>>  He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." >>> >>>  "You'll what?" I said. >>> >>>  "I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed. >>> >>>  I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over > right >>>now." >>> >>>  Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I > lived at >>>34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, and that I was on my way over there to kill > my >>>gay lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down > in >>>Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse. >>> >>>  I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I got there > just >>>in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in > front >>>of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew. >>> >>>  NOW I feel much better. >>> >>>  Anger management really works...

红色企鹅 · 发表于 21-10-2006 00:32:00|来自：新加坡

This man, AB ah...

Anger Management

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