??????????????????????

大头木 · 发表于 10-10-2005 22:51:23|来自：广东深圳

爱嫁不嫁是别人的事了. 至于幸不幸福我们也说不上.有什么好吵的嘛.那么激动干嘛晕死.

小人小雨 · 发表于 10-10-2005 22:47:23|来自：广东深圳

<DIV class=quote>以下是引用Ventured在2005-10-10 21:28:34的发言：


还没有来就知道ＧＥＹＬＡＮＧ了？厉害。
</DIV>
你不知道坡人有人专门去国内酒店找那些小姐办旅游签证过来，就是去那种地方做的。如果你有做过新家坡飞-深圳-青岛的飞机，你就看到了，70%都是小姐，上次我和我老公坐那个航班，就看到好多，听了到拉皮条的怎么教他们办过来，还看到好几个女的被带手铐的。。。。。。。。。知道新政府不给中国的女生做服务，或酒店的吗？就是这些人把名声都搞坏了，把国脸都丢光了。

小人小雨 · 发表于 10-10-2005 22:49:06|来自：广东深圳

<DIV class=quote>以下是引用angela1019在2005-10-10 22:46:27的发言：


你的忠告？别把自己说得好像受了天大的委屈。你自己好好看看我回你的第一个帖子，我哪里有骂你的意思，我只是和你讲我的CONDITION和道理。是你自己本身发过来的第一个帖子已经有问题了，懂华语的人都知道你的口气和语气已经是在损人了。你有什么资格在这里胡言乱语。
拜托先搞好你的心态再来和我说，否则你的下场肯定是群起而攻之。还有呀，嘴巴放干净一点，不懂就别装懂，谁告诉你做酒店的女生是小姐，你是不是找骂！！！我只能说你这人素质太差了，真的，回家先好好整理好自己再来发表你所谓的高见。这里不欢迎你</DIV>

你先结婚再说吧。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

equation · 发表于 11-10-2005 01:12:02|来自：广东深圳

<DIV class=quote>以下是引用谦纭在2005-10-10 23:25:27的发言：

如果是劝告需注意说话的态度，婚礼的喜庆当头被人无端淋一身冷水，自身感觉如何？</DIV>

其实醍醐灌顶不就是泼冷水吗？看楼主的情形即便是用冷水也是浪费

在水一方sg · 发表于 11-10-2005 01:02:43|来自：广东深圳

看到楼主的投诉了。简单的看了一下，其实吵架主要还是因为不同的观点造成的。楼主本身并没有在新常时间的生活，对本地生活缺乏深入的了解，但是每个人都会对未来有着美好的憧憬是可以理解的。还是那句话，彩票那么难中不也有中的吗？很多中国的女孩子嫁来这边发现婚姻出现问题并不代表所有人，过的好的谁还上网发牢骚呢？另外一位大侠可能也是因为在这里的一些经历或者所闻所感产生的想法，可能表达方式上比较急了一点但是本意是好的！所以我也不希望两位继续吵下去，吵架本身没什么意义。所以我希望两位都退一步，找朋友的找朋友，逛论坛的逛论坛。为了营造共同的网上净土而努力。谢谢

equation · 发表于 11-10-2005 01:13:50|来自：广东深圳

<DIV class=quote>以下是引用小人小雨在2005-10-10 23:04:00的发言：
跟晓林一样，在这边几年了，看的事多了。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。好心说实话被人说是攻击。。。。。。。。。。。。</DIV>

一百个同意

equation · 发表于 11-10-2005 09:39:20|来自：广东深圳

<DIV class=quote>以下是引用Ventured在2005-10-11 3:30:45的发言：


尽管离婚率高，不过说实话，在新加坡离婚也不是一件很轻松的事情。

DIVORCE IN <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">SINGAPORE</st1:place></st1:country-region>'S CONTEXT



THE 10 MOST COMMON BELIEFS/FALLACIES





With <st1:country-region w:st="on">Singapore</st1:country-region> becoming more and more cosmopolitan each day and with more Singaporeans going overseas for studies or work, potential clients seeking to initiate divorce proceedings in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Singapore</st1:place></st1:country-region> are influenced by the requirements to commence divorce proceedings in the various jurisdictions around the world.





In <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Singapore</st1:place></st1:country-region>, the requirements are set out in the Women's Charter, Chapter 353 (hereinafter referred to as "the Act") and this article aims to dispel the 10 most common beliefs/fallacies with reference to the relevant provisions of the Act.





As the purpose of this article is to highlight the common beliefs/fallacies in relation to divorce proceedings to laypersons, there would not be any reference to case laws or judgments of any courts but broad statements of law with reference to the Act.








Belief No. 1 - So long as parties agree, they can obtain a divorce





This is the most common fallacy and presumably it is due to the fact that adults are not required to seek the consent of any third parties before they are married. Hence, it is assumed that so long as both adults consent to be divorced, why should their decision be dependant on third parties' opinions or consent?





In Singapore, in order for parties to obtain a divorce, they must present a Petition for Divorce as set out in sections 92 and 93 of the Act which provide that the Judge of the High Court of the Republic of Singapore has the jurisdiction to hear such divorce petitions. It is not the common intention or decision of two adults which determine whether they are divorced or not. Whether parties are able to obtain a divorce depends on the decision of the High Court Judge after hearing the divorce petition.

 
Section 93(1) of the Act provides that only if either of the parties to the marriage is:-


(a) domiciled in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Singapore</st1:place></st1:country-region> at the commencement of the proceedings; or


(b) habitually resident in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Singapore</st1:place></st1:country-region> for a period of 3 years immediately preceding the commencement of the proceedings,


only then the parties to a marriage are entitled to present such a petition in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Singapore</st1:place></st1:country-region>.





As such, all citizens of <st1:country-region w:st="on">Singapore</st1:country-region> and foreigners holding employment/work permit passes, student pass and who are habitually resident in <st1:country-region w:st="on">Singapore</st1:country-region> would be able to present their petition for divorce in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Singapore</st1:place></st1:country-region> pursuant to the Act.





However, foreigners residing in <st1:country-region w:st="on">Singapore</st1:country-region> have the option of commencing their divorce petitions overseas in order to avoid the strict requirements of the <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Singapore</st1:place></st1:country-region> law. Whilst this may be "easier" it could also give rise to loose ends, eg. the division/disposition of the matrimonial property especially if it is a Housing and Development Board flat or where the matrimonial property includes sums in the Central Provident Fund. Similarly, the issue of custody and maintenance of children as well as maintenance of the spouse may not be resolved.





NOTE : certain jurisdictions permit divorce via postcards or submission of a notice to the registry concerned. As such, parties may not have considered the issues abovementioned.








Belief No. 2 - Parties can obtain a divorce any time after marriage


Generally, parties are not permitted to commence divorce proceedings in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Singapore</st1:place></st1:country-region> until after three years of their registration of marriage as section 94(1) of the Act states that “No petition for divorce shall be presented to the court unless at the date of the presentation of the petition 3 years have passed since the date of the marriage.”





This is because the institution of marriage is a sacred one and parties should treat it with respect once they have committed themselves to each other in marriage.





However, pursuant to section 94(2) of the Act, in very exceptional circumstances, that is, exceptional hardship is suffered by the petitioner or exceptional depravity is suffered on the part of the respondent can be proven, the petitioner may be able to present the divorce petition within three years of marriage AFTER having obtained leave from the High Court for the same in which event, the Court shall also take into account the interests of any child of the marriage before leave is granted.








Belief No. 3 - In cases of adultery, the victim is entitled to seek compensation from the third party


There is no such provision in the Women’s Charter.








Belief No. 4 - The party at fault must give up all his/her rights to the matrimonial assets


Again this is a fallacy presumably due to the misconception that the aggrieved party is entitled to compensation.





Under section 112 of the Act, the division of the matrimonial assets is dependant on certain factors, for example :


1. the extent of the contributions made by each party in terms of money, property or work towards acquiring, improving or maintaining the matrimonial assets;


2. any debt owing or obligation incurred or undertaken by either party for their joint benefit or for the benefit of any child of the marriage;


3. the needs of the children (if any) of the marriage;


4. the extent of the contributions made by each party to the welfare of the family, including looking after the home or caring for the family or any aged or infirm relative or dependant of either party;


5. any agreement between the parties with respect to the ownership and division of the matrimonial assets made in contemplation of divorce;


6. any period of rent-free occupation or other benefit enjoyed by one party in the matrimonial home to the exclusion of the other party;


7. the giving of assistance or support by one party to the other party (whether or not of a material kind), including the giving of assistance or support which aids the other party in the carrying on of his or her occupation or business;





In addition, the Court may also consider the following additional factors, as set out in section 114(1) of the Act, in so far as they are relevant:-


1. the income, earning capacity, property and other financial resources which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future;


2. the financial needs, obligations and responsibilities which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future;


3. the standard of living enjoyed by the family before the breakdown of the marriage;


4. the age of each party to the marriage and the duration of the marriage;


5. any physical or mental disability of either of the parties to the marriage;


6. the contributions made by each of the parties to the welfare of the family, including any contribution made by looking after the home or caring for the family; and


7. in the case of proceedings for divorce or nullity of marriage, the value to either of the parties to the marriage of any benefit (for example, a pension) which, by reason of the dissolution or annulment of the marriage that party will lose the chance of acquiring.





If at all the party at fault is "punished" he/she is made to bear the cost of the divorce proceedings up to the pronouncement of the Decree Nisi stage. The cost may be agreed between parties or fixed by the Judge presiding over the case. The sum fixed may be different from that charged by the lawyers.








Belief No. 5 - A Wife is entitled to 50% of the Husband's assets upon divorce


This is not true as the division of the matrimonial property, as stated above, is dependant on the specified factors set out in section 112 of the Act.








Belief No. 6 – If there are two children, each party will have custody of one child


This is not true as the issue of care, custody and control of any child or children of the marriage is determined by sections 123 and 125 of the Act.





Where a child is concerned, that child’s interest is paramount in the eyes of the Court. Generally, the Court is reluctant to separate siblings and prefer to grant custody care and control of all children to the marriage to one party to ensure that the siblings remain close to each other.





As a matter of interest, the fact that a parent is having a substantial salary is no guarantee that he/she will have custody of the child. Other factors like who will be taking care of the child etc. will play a part.








Belief No. 7 – If one parent has custody of the child/children, he/she can restrict the access by the other parent


This is not true for it is of paramount interest for the child/children to maintain his/her relationship with BOTH parents as far as possible. That the parents are divorced does not mean that the child/children must suffer.





Attempts have been made to restrict or refuse access to a parent who is/was a drug addict, prostitute etc. That the parent’s past or occupation is morally reprehensible does not mean that they are not capable of being a good parent and as such would not mean that they cannot have access, and sometimes custody, of the child or children.





So long as the parent is the natural parent of the child, access must be given unless there are compelling reasons to order otherwise, for instance, it can be shown that the parent is a bad influence on the child, for example, encouraging the child to steal or to take drugs.








Belief No 8 – Parent with custody of the child can decide everything


Just because custody, care and control of a child is given to one parent, that parent have no right to decide everything for that child as the other party is similarly a parent. Most importantly, the child’s surname cannot be changed solely by the parent having custody, care and control.








Belief No. 9 – The father must maintain the child


It is true that as a parent of the child, the father must find means to support the child financially. This is so, even if the father is currently unemployed. However, the duty to support the child is not restricted to the Father only. The mother, who in most cases would have custody, must also support the child. That she was and had been a housewife does not mean that she is incapable of working and earning money to support herself and the child.





Whilst the Court will try to achieve equality in the financial support to be provided by both parents, the Court will give regard to the financial means and needs of the parties.








Belief No. 10 – A Wife is entitled to maintenance from the Husband in any event


This used to be true but not anymore as these days, more and more women also work and their salary are sometimes more than their husband's. The issue of maintenance is governed by section 114 of the Act which states that :





114(1) In determining the amount of any maintenance to be paid by a man to his wife or former wife, the court shall have regard to all the circumstances of the case including the following matters:-


(a) the income, earning capacity, property and other financial resources which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future;


(b) the financial needs, obligations and responsibilities which each of the parties to the marriage has or is likely to have in the foreseeable future;


(c) the standard of living enjoyed by the family before the breakdown of the marriage;


(d) the age of each party to the marriage and the duration of the marriage;


(e) any physical or mental disability of either of the parties to the marriage;


(f) the contributions made by each of the parties to the welfare of the family, including any contribution made by looking after the home or caring for the family; and


(g) in the case of proceedings for divorce or nullity of marriage, the value to either of the parties to the marriage of any benefit (for example, a pension) which, by reason of the dissolution or annulment of the marriage that party will lose the chance of acquiring.





114(2) In exercising its powers under this section, the court shall endeavour so to place the parties, so far as it is practicable and, having regard to their conduct, just to do so, in the financial position in which they would have been if the marriage had not broken down and each had properly discharged his or her financial obligations and responsibilities towards the other.





As such, if the wife is working or capable of working but the husband is unemployed or incapable of working due to disability, it is very unlikely that the wife will succeed in getting any maintenance.





Under the new provisions of the Act, husbands are entitled to ask for maintenance but such applications are still rare in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Singapore</st1:place></st1:country-region>.








Ho Meng Third


M/s CW Lee.Peng.Chia.Philip














<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 border=1>

<TR>
<TD vAlign=top width=613>
DISCLAIMER:-


THIS ARTICLE IS NOT MEANT TO DISPENSE LEGAL ADVICE. YOU ARE ADVISED TO SEEK INDEPENDENT LEGAL ADVICE ON ANY PROBLEMS OR QUESTIONS WHICH YOU MAY HAVE. THE AUTHOR IS NOT TO BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY OF YOUR ACTS OR OMISSIONS IN RELIANCE ON ANY PART OF THIS ARTICLE.

</TD></TR></TABLE>




<a href="http://www.lawsociety.org.sg/upload/CLE/{9BEA36CD-C647-461E-80C4-9717548A4E7C}_Divorce%20in%20Singapore.doc" target="_blank" >http://www.lawsociety.org.sg/upload/CLE/{9BEA36CD-C647-461E-80C4-9717548A4E7C}_Divorce%20in%20Singapore.doc</A>



</DIV>
哇，还有这种东西。这难怪包二奶的那么多，都生了几个孩子了，也不给个名份。

angela1019 · 发表于 11-10-2005 10:52:54|来自：广东深圳

<DIV class=quote>以下是引用equation在2005-10-11 1:51:43的发言：


很抱歉，我很少去那种地方！不知你为何那么有兴趣？！
我也很抱歉，我的兴趣只在芽笼的小吃上，真的要你失望了。你很少去那就是说还是有去了？？？
至于我的中文，没学好有什么办法呢？不过至少我会正确的使用标点，不会像你把该用句号的地方用问号。
我打问号是我要QUESTION你，我不会按你的思路来填写标点，这点你就有点“费心了”
我中文再不好，我也不会把发过的帖子改来改去。帖子就像人说话，说出去的话，泼出去的水。我不像某人不知出于何种目的把自己发的帖子改来改去，然后还怪别人看不懂中文，就好像我们这些人出了国就会忘了根，连个中文都不懂！我是有改过各别字，因为发出去时发现写错了。我也没有改来改去，改的也只是字体和格式。我会考虑我用的字眼，如果我现在在新加坡，你敢站在我面前讲同样的话，我会叫我的律师发信给你。
</DIV>

angela1019 · 发表于 11-10-2005 11:01:36|来自：广东深圳

<DIV class=quote>以下是引用equation在2005-10-11 2:03:33的发言：

不要跟她讲了，浪费。其实你看她芽龙啦，法律啦，连你们读书的合约她都比你清楚，她的目的你还不清楚吗，还用跟她多讲吗？所谓人各有志，我们也不必强求。</DIV>
那你真的要恭喜我有这么好的一个新加坡男朋友。他希望我了解新加坡也愿意和他生活在新加坡。他会讲新加坡的常用的法律，人情世故，规定，还有一些特色给我，我们也有自己的律师，不懂就问。我不会稀里糊涂的像部分人去了还不知道要做什么，明知道要签合约还要在后面讲东讲西。新加坡那么让你失望还不赶快走，自找的。
我的目的？？？我有什么目的？？？哦，对了，我的目的是有一个：就是了解新加坡，和爱我的新加坡男生生活在一起，过着我们自己的生活。
我想我知道的也比你们多，这是你们地悲哀，不是我的。还有呀，不要在我的帖上搞破坏，真的不欢迎你这种人呢。

angela1019 · 发表于 11-10-2005 10:43:58|来自：广东深圳

<DIV class=quote>以下是引用equation在2005-10-11 1:12:02的发言：



其实醍醐灌顶不就是泼冷水吗？看楼主的情形即便是用冷水也是浪费</DIV>
我不需要你的“好心”提醒，因为你的好心已经变质了。而且问题还出在你是真的“好心”吗？

[职场] ??????????????????????

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