Who am I? 我是谁？
At a tea for officers and their wives, the commanding general of a base delivered a seemingly endless oration. A young lieutenant grumbled to the woman sitting beside him, “What a pompous and unbearable old windbag that slob is!” The woman turned to him, her face red with rage. “Excuse me, Lieutenant. Do you have any idea who I am?” “No, ma'am,” the man fumbled. “I am the wife of the man you just called an unbearable old windbag.” “Oh,” said the lieutenant. “And do you have any idea who I am?” “No,” said the general's wife. “Thank God,” said the lieutenant, getting up from his seat and disappearing into the crowd.
在一次军官和家属的茶话会上，基地的司令没完没了地发表着演说。一位年轻的中尉对坐在他旁边的女人嘟囔说：“这个老家伙啰嗦乏味、自以为是，真叫人不能容忍。”那个女人转过来，她的脸因生气而通红：“中尉，你知道我是谁吗？”小伙子说：“夫人，我不知道。”“我是那个你才说的啰嗦乏味、自以为是、叫人不能容忍的老家伙的太太。”中尉说：“哦，那你知道我是谁吗？”将军的夫人说：“不知道。”中尉说：“感谢上帝。”说完就从位置上站起来，消失在人群中。
Roaming Charges 漫游费
At the grocery store, I couldn't understand why free-range eggs were more expensive than ordinary eggs. “Well, sir, think of it as being like your cell phone,” explained the checkout clerk. “They get you with roaming charges.”
在杂货店里，我不懂为什么草鸡蛋比普通鸡蛋要贵。收银员解释说：“嗯，先生，你拿它比作你的手机来想。漫游是要加钱的。”
My plan was to build a garden walkway made up of wooden squares. I decided I'd slice railroad ties into two-inch-thick pieces. That's what I told the clerk at the lumberyard. “You got a power saw?” he asked. “No,” I said. “Can't I just use my hand saw?” He nodded slowly. “You could. But I just have one question. How old do you want to be when you finish?”
我的计划是用木头方块铺一条花园走道。我决定要把铁路枕木锯成两寸厚的木块。我就是这样告诉木材场的职工的。他问：“你有电动锯吗？”我说：“没有。我不能用手工锯吗？”他慢慢地点头说：“你能用。不过我有一个问题：你准备多大年纪的时候完工？”
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