不合时宜的在这里发英文帖，不被删的话坚持一天一贴

风颜风语

好贴啊 ! 膜拜 !

不为稻粱谋

今天闹了一个笑话，说到我曾经在杭州看西洋景，就是透过一个小孔看里面的纸片人演戏。
我用了peep show，同事爆笑。问之才知道，peep show虽然也是小孔里看戏，但通常演的都是成年的，se 情的东西，诸如，女人脱了上衣两手把胸部抛上抛下等等。
可怜我当年看得明明是健康的民俗的皮影戏而已。
中文把peep show翻译成西洋景或者拉洋片，真是害死人阿。

另外，特意问了一下，peep和peek的区别，大家都语焉不详的，不过，都建议尽量用peek而少用peep。

franksh

这个帖子要顶，有营养

姬君武

不为稻粱谋 发表于 28-8-2013 17:49
今天闹了一个笑话，说到我曾经在杭州看西洋景，就是透过一个小孔看里面的纸片人演戏。
我用了peep show，同 ...

支持楼主，请继续一日一帖。

学到不少知识。

不为稻粱谋

同事转发的帖子，初读不知所云，然后，越读越好笑。不觉得好笑的咱们可以交流交流。

ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2013 EUROPE (From JOHN CLEESE)

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels ..

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

风颜风语

Up

刀如水

不为稻粱谋 发表于 4-9-2013 17:59
同事转发的帖子，初读不知所云，然后，越读越好笑。不觉得好笑的咱们可以交流交流。

ALERTS TO THREATS IN ...

楼主又回来了，甚好！

这个笑话很有意思，熟悉欧洲历史的人读后应该会发出会心的微笑。  为了方便大家理解同时练一下手，我把它翻译了一下 ，顺便补充了楼主漏掉的一小段。


The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

英格兰人被敘利亞最新的局势搞得压力山大，因此决定把国家安全等级由“不忿”升級到“不悦”。据悉，安全等级很快将晋升为“不耐” 甚至到 “不爽”。英國人从1940年以后还没有 “不爽” 过，那年的伦敦大轰炸差点使茶叶断货。恐怖分子也从 “烦人” 被升级为 “讨厌” 。英格兰人上次发布 “讨厌” 警示是在1588年，原因是当时他们受到了西班牙无敌舰队的威胁。

The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let's get the Bastards.” They don't have any other levels.  This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

苏格兰人把国家安全等级从 “烦人” 升级为 “干死这帮[关键词屏蔽]” 。他们没有更高的等级了。这就是为什么他们在过去300年里一直被英格兰人放在最前线当炮灰的原因。

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to“Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and“Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

法国政府昨天将恐怖袭击危险等级从 “逃跑” 提升为 “躲藏” 。 除此之外，法国就只剩下两个更高的级别：“合作”和 “投降”。促成这次升级的原因是最近的一场大火焚毁了法国的白棋制造厂， 这场灾难使法国军队立即丧失了战斗力。

Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

意大利把危险等级从“大家兴奋地大喊大叫”提升为“军队认真地装模作样”。他们还剩下两个等级：“军队毫无作为”和 “投靠另一边儿”。

The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.”

德国人把安全等级从“蔑视”升级为“穿着制服高唱进行曲”。他们也有两个更高的级别：“侵略”和  “战败”。

Belgians, on the other hand,  are all on holiday as usual;  the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

比利时人与众不同， 他们照常休假；唯一令他们担忧的是北约撤离布鲁塞尔。

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

西班牙人则大喜过望，他们最新型的潜水艇终于可以出海了。这些设计精美的潜艇的底部是由玻璃制成，以便让现在的西班牙海军士兵观赏沉没在海底的西班牙无敌舰队。

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be right, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

与此同时，澳大利亚把危险等级从 “没事儿” 提升为“放心吧” 。更高的等级是 “哎呦呦——这个周末的BBQ恐怕要取消了”和 “BBQ取消”。最后一个等级有史以来还从未被使用过。

Regards,

John Cleese,
British writer, actor and tall person

此致     敬礼。

约翰 克里斯
英国作家，演员， 高个儿

And as a final thought – Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive,  and Rome is in disarray.  Welcome back to 430 BC.

最后突然想到：希腊正在崩溃，伊朗人（波斯）越来越好斗，罗马正陷入混乱中。 欢迎回到公元前430年。

刀如水

不为稻粱谋 发表于 4-9-2013 17:59
同事转发的帖子，初读不知所云，然后，越读越好笑。不觉得好笑的咱们可以交流交流。

ALERTS TO THREATS IN ...

另： 这个笑话几年前就开始流传于网上了， 最近又被用叙利亚局势重新包装了一下。这个笑话也不是John Cleess写的， 作者是无名氏。

John Cleess在网上最有名的英式幽默小品是《Letter to America》。

Letter to America
("Notice of Revocation of Independence")

To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

          Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
         
1. You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up aluminium. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix ize will be replaced by the suffix ise. You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.

          Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up vocabulary. Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up interspersed. There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

          2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.

          3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney,upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as Taggart will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is Devon. If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become shires e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

          4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as Men Behaving Badly or Red Dwarf will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

          5. You should relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

          6. You should stop playing American football. There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American football is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays American football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders,your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called rounders, which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

          7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

          8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called Indecisive Day.

          9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time,you will go metric with immediate effect and conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

          10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

          11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

          12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer,and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. The substances formerly known as American Beer will henceforth be referred to as Near-Frozen Knat's Urine,with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine. This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen,Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

          13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol (or Gasoline, as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon- get used to it).

          14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

          15. Please tell us who killed JFK.  It's been driving us crazy.

          16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (back dated to 1776).

          Thank you for your co-operation and have a great day.

          John Cleese

不为稻粱谋

一直想知道节俭过日子该怎么讲，今天终于找到这个词。
We had to scrimp and save to pay the bills. 我们得省吃俭用来付帐。

不为稻粱谋

This argument is simply not tenable. 这个论点根本站不住脚。
He's got a scholarship tenable for four years. 他已得到为期四年的奖学金。